Evan vs. Evan

Ramblings

2008-06-12T22:53:00.002-04:00

Once I stumbled, in my hectic life, and heard the softest of voices whisper a tune to my ear. Time was still and the clouds rolled no further until the tip of a hat signaled all was clear.

A plague upon me

2008-04-22T16:04:00.002-04:00

Why is it I can never seem to remember whether the period goes on the INSIDE or the OUTSIDE of quotation marks. Lousy language, adopt fewer rules! Post-haste!

Enough for Cap'm Crunch?

2008-04-21T16:44:00.006-04:00

It's officially the first day of my summer vacation. This summer will contain tons of opportunity for being lazy, but it's also crucial that a job or some source of income be obtained. As it stands, I make very little (read: nothing). Now while pulling in some revenue via my writing is possible, the yield just isn't big enough to really warrant it being a primary source of income.

As I tried to brainstorm ideas for possible avenues of employment, I asked myself a question: Should where ever I chose to work reflect me as a person? Should I rule out certain establishments simply because I feel they might devalue me in some way? Or is it really just all about the money?

I think it's safe to assume most people say they would rather work somewhere they enjoy as opposed to somewhere they absolutely loathe. I would much rather work in a record store or in journalism than a fish market, or a "big and tall" womens retailer. Even if the womens retailer payed 15 per cent more than the record store, I can safely say I'd still joyously man that store every day till the very end.

I know a lot of people would like to think they would pick a more enjoyable but less financially stable profession if given the chance, but I really question the sincerity of some of these individuals. For the most part I accept the fact that the lower paying yet more enjoyable jobs are the only ones that will ever be available to me (even writing isn't really profitable and that's what I'm in school for). Some doctors, lawyers and engineers, among other noteworthy professionals may try to convey this sentiment. If they wanted to do my job, aren't they outrageously overqualified for it? Wouldn't they actually be more miserable due to the severe decline in the standard of living it would bring about? Do they think that writing articles for The Toronto Sun will pay as well as performing open heart surgery?

I'll never be making six figures. I'm not exceptional enough at anything important to be making that much so I've never imagined my tier of life on the level. I'm well acquainted with people who both are now and will be payed enough to drive rocket cars and have personal compounds constructed on other planets. They all (for the most part) deserve it. They all do something valuable enough to make that kind of pay almost seem acceptable. My one friend plays the drums extremely well, I can only imagine how large his fleet of rocket cars will be.

The answer to my question isn't really a hard one. I probably won't ever have an extremely well paying job, so I might as well find something I enjoy doing. And if I can't, where I work doesn't make a difference, as long as they're paying me enough to put Captain Crunch on the table at least 5 times a week. And while finding something that reflects my personality and I would be great, I should just get a handle on 2 or 3 things to do until I can find something I either a) enjoy or b) am exceptional at to make enough to purchase my very own rocket car. I just better get to the choice jobs before Dr.Worm does, sneaky bugger.

The Subject of Bus Etiquette

2008-04-17T14:21:00.004-04:00

Understanding human interaction can be hard sometimes.

Judging what the right thing to do may be in any given situation can sometimes be more difficult than previously thought. Bare with me now as I explain a scenario to you. You're taking a bus (the destination not being important) and this bus isn't particularly full but isn't particularly empty either. Through some random happenstance you're seated next to someone. This someone is, appearance wise, the most average of average individuals. They have not a single aesthetic quality that makes you feel threatened or scared by them. Some seats open up across from wherever you happen to be sitting. Aside from the occasional deep breathe, the body parallel to you hasn't moved an inch, but they're smiling cheerfully and seem friendly. It's a fact that we all like our personal space, having a bubble or a cushion between us and the next guy.

SO do you move to get that uber-satisfying personal space and possibly hurt this seemingly innocent individuals feelings? Or do you stay where you were sitting, seeing as you have no overly pertinent reason for migrating?

When people see others moving away from them hastily, they immediately rationalize to two conclusions a) there must be something wrong with them or b) there must be something wrong with me, and it's almost always the latter. This will inevitably start a chain reaction throughout your entire body. You will start unconsciously going through any and all ticks you have ever performed. Breathing rhythms will be thrown wildly out of whack, feet will tap, legs will bounce, the back of your head could just get really itchy and not stop and you'd just have to keep itching it. I can only imagine we do this because we're trying to figure out if we were doing any of these things prior to the move. No one wants to be the bus' lone "loudbreather" or "excessive air drummer" and not be aware of it.

I'm not suggesting we should all sidle up to that dude at the back of the bus who's breathing like he's 50,000 ft above sea level on some mountain climbing expedition in Tibet. No, you stay away from him. I'm more just suggesting some tact could be used or even just sitting put if there's no real reason to move. I think once we get past hating to be uncomfortably close to others, we'll be a lot happier as a whole. I dunno, just something to think about.

Strawberry-Mint -Cookie-Chocochocosplosion dough

2008-04-16T22:26:00.001-04:00

Let me start by saying that I love women.
Women have done so much for civilization and culture the world over since the beginning of time (up to and possibly including creation of the Universe!). I'd even go as far as to say in the event of a world wide apocalypse that somehow divided the entire population of the earth between men and women, I'd be inclined to hide out with the females (and not just because I'm not entirely down for a planet-wide sausage fest).
Earlier tonight a very good friend of mine who happens to be a female needed to talk. I've found that girls tend to do this a great deal more often than most males. "It's cause they're girls!" some of you might say.
This is entirely untrue.
Well, maybe only half true. Despite having a history full of pirate captains, astronauts and countless rock stars, it's because Females are simply better than us (read: men). The Female is, for the most part, always well attuned with the underlying emotional side of any situation. They may not necessarily give a damn about it all the time, but it's like a Jedi to The Force. Things any average guy wouldn't consciously take notice of, like a strange look or a snake like sharpness during conversation, or even just the feeling given off by someone adjacent to them. It's not that we're totally oblivious to these things. Oh, we know it's happening, we just (subconsciously) chose not to take notice.
A lot of guys would probably listen to a female vent if completely necessary, but would otherwise probably like to try to avoid making a habit out of it. It's widely accepted that when a female vents its O.K. to just smile and nod. It's kind of like practice for ignoring things later on in life. But what I've been slowly realizing is they aren't just talking about nothing.
They know the score.
It's entirely possible that early on, to avoid a life condemned to stress fuelled despair, we learned that it's better to just not worry ourselves with that side of things. I feel while this may have been an immediate blessing of sorts; in the long run we lose a little something. We lose perspective gained from dealing with human confrontation.
Nodding at the appropriate times and listening to my female associate let it all out, I found a lot of her problems seemed outlandish and almost petty. But that didn't seem to matter. The weight from the problems seemed to be causing her to feel physically ill. I'll admit to feeling physically ill as a result of extremely negative situations. And we're talking the kind heartbreak Hedley could only dream of singing about. Her problems were mostly interpersonal in some way or another, but they seemed like discrepancies that could be easily overlooked or with the consumption of the proper beverages, be forgiven in less than three hours.
This night was the first time that I truly realized how much more The Female self is in tune with that side of things than men are. It made me wonder how my guy friends would react if I started trying to attune myself in this way. I can only imagine I'd be met with nothing but baffled guffaws and puzzled stares akin to those shed when Marilyn Manson dawned fake breasts and a vag.
As I tried to rationalize some of the situations and stay objective as humanly possible, it made me think critically about how men don't hug enough. Guys, we need to hug more. Come on. Not buying it? Me either. It did make me think though. It made me think about how I would deal with some of the situations if I actually chose to acknowledge them in my own friendships. Would I eat an entire tub of ice cream without being high because a friend has decided to give me the cold shoulder this week? What kind of ice cream would I not mind eating an entire tub of?
I sincerely hope that there are no women reading this and thinking I'm poking fun at them or implying that all women are "overemotional" or "oversensitive" this is absolutely not the case. I speak out of respect and admiration. You live in a world more multi dimensional than the best acid trip (maybe with the exclusion of WEMF 05). You deal with things on a day-to-day basis that would drive me (and surely most males) to become a shuddering wreck in little more than a day.
I really think men as a whole, need to start listening to women more. Or at the very least try to offer them some valuable input past a "wow", an "Oh yeah, I know", or (a personal favourite) a "you're so right." Which, ironically, is a lot of the time all a venting female will want to hear. Who knows, maybe being in tune with this stuff is the secret to being the next Micheal Stipe or something.
I know I'm down for being Micheal Stipe.
But my fall back is cookie dough.